Thursday, February 25, 2016

ES-Say #62

ES-Say #62 Saying Anything To Stella McCartney(at Harrods, Spring 2016)
                                        Oh yes, it really happened...and I got free cookies! 
                               "OK, so now that's six Beatle points that you've gained today..."

Since 1834, London's Harrods department store has been a mecca for many things. I don't know what those things are, but it involves expensive clothing on sale from top fashion designers.  Occasionally, you may even meet one of those designers and talk about a gorgeous handbag that is 3-months worth of your paycheck-to-paycheck existence. But, don't cry for me Argentina, for I am fortunate to say that I met the real-life daughter of "The Paul McCartney"(who probably is still best friends with Madonna)- Let's hear it for Stella McCartney!!! Yaaaaaaaay!

Look, I can't entirely understand what the hell happened today, but I can tell you it was much better than what the hell happened at the James McCartney concert in December(ES-Say #50). I say that I'm confused because all my efforts to meet "The Paul McCartney" never have materialised. I actually will strongly tell people, from experience to "forget it" because I have spent no less than eight hours waiting outdoors after being told I should have waited a minimum of two days. I do not listen to my own advice and the "new-unannounced-CD-that-HE-may-or-may-not-do-a-signing-for" clock is waiting to be wound. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves and begin our "The Stella McCartney" story. (Sorry for this Fan Girl start but I had to get it out of my system...)

After two days of preparation(I did my nails), I decided that I would visit Harrods, for at least the chance to enter their contest to win Stella McCartney merchandise. Hundred of pounds of prizes waiting to be won, so why not to me? Even if I never got near Stella, I also knew that classic arcade games and a photo booth were going to be available to the public to have some fun with. I tried to distract myself with good thoughts that didn't involve meeting a celebrity because if I thought to long about it, I would have gone back to bed. Every time I seriously thought about the event(as in meeting Stella), I thought I might forget how to speak so I considered if I did get to Say Anything it would be about her brand of clothing. There was no way I would start a conversation with "so when was the last time you spoke to your dad, The Paul McCartney?" I was thinking sensible and trying to practice using "Falabella" (one of her signature handbags,) in a sentence.

I arrived about an hour before the start time of noon. I was reminded that I get claustrophobic in department stores when I got lost trying to find the first floor. 15 minutes later after passing a Swimwear department that didn't seem to lead to anywhere, I walked passed the event site. Quickly, I had the attention of several Harrods employees as I wrote my name on a contest entry and stuck into an empty clear box. Shortly, a couple other entries were visible. A 1\3 chance to be a winner left me with a smile on my face as I hammed it up in the photo booth. Then, I went to look at the free play coin-opperated style arcade games. 
                                                   Lisa Marie Presley?! Is she here too????

After about five games of playing Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, & Elvis pinball, people began to show up. It quickly became about fifty people filling out contest entries. Well, better luck next time with my odds now increased to lose, I focused on a Stella fan head-to-toe in the McCartney label clothing waiting nearby. I wanted to see if she knew "A Taste Of Honey" but gave that snarky thought up when three actual runway-styled models stood together to show off their Stella line clothing. Three songs began playing on a loop, one which included a lady rap star on vocals. I assumed, from the fourth row that was surrounding a pattened leather(?) bench that something would be starting. (It didn't)

The crowd moved up after the models walked away. I spotted a Harrods security guard pass the bench. Still nothing happened, leaving enough time to delete photos on my camera. By this time I wished the free lemonade servers were going to return because it was getting very warm surrounded by people who's left-hands were replaced with mobile phones. Abracadabra, the flashes went off and I had not realised that "The Stella McCartney" had appeared. But, when I heard her call out something that wasn't "Meredith Evonne" as a contest winner, I knew I missed a trick to be more alert to what was happening around me.

Everyone again started to move up to be in a disorganised mob heading slowly towards Stella. One Harrods employee got the bright idea that the mob should "form a line" which became useful as I was now instantly in the "if you want a photo" line. Stella got the idea fast that she was required to only pose for selfies. I rumaged into my £30 brown bowling bag for a sharpie. "Screw the photo, let me get her autograph!" I thought, as I handed somebody my camera and was now next in the receiving line.

Here's how it went down-

Me: Hello, would you be able to sign for me?
Stella pleasantly taking my Stella McCartney catalogue and marker
(pause for a second of cricket noise)

Me(talking way too fast): The Falabella! I love the spring one with the yellow flowers..bla bla, but it's not here today..
Stella(cool as a cucumber) lets me know that in fact it is available in the collection and even in the bigger version.

(someone wants us to pose for photos with my camera. This guy employee might have been thinking- "wrap it up or face the wrath of the wealthy regular Harrods customers holding up their iphone left hands".)
Me(to Stella): Thank you, it was really nice to meet you.
Stella(smiles or nicely says goodbye)

Exit Stage Left.

As the next receiving line I was waiting on was in a Starbucks, I had a few thoughts. One was hunger(forgot to eat at all that morning), the other was "her personality reminds me of Linda...nice and easy-going." This evening at home, as I ran to wash off the Juicy Couture perfume I rarely wear, I got ready to update the blog I never mentioned to "The Stella McCartney".

"I am starving, what's in the freezer?" I said out loud to nobody. "Frozen Linda McCartney Burgers? Let's go with that..."

Yahtzee! Here at "Not Saying Anything To Paul McCartney" we'd like to remind you that if you have any interest in more photos and a video from this event lots of posh people have already done this because they have Instagram. But, we have Twitter and Our NSATPM Facebook Group here which we expect to have updated with "group only" exclusives during this week. If you consider 74 members exclusive because they get to see our full dorky photos, we really can't blame you for laughing(and loudly, for real people to hear).   

Friday, February 19, 2016

ES-Say #61 How VIP Do We Gotta Get To Save My Beatles Collection?
NSATPM'S Beatles\McCartney Vinyl & CD Collection (well, some of it...)

Look, I am well aware that Paul McCartney acted like, well Paul McCartney, when denied access to a Grammy's party. Yet, I really didn't give a toss because I had a huge emergency to deal with. That's right, I was also denied access to a seemingly effortless place to get into-My own home. 

If I learned anything this week, is that even people who are a shoo-ins to gain entry to places, meaning they have every right to be somewhere, might not be 100% allowed to stay inside. 
McCartney dealt with a bouncer, I dealt with the Police. McCartney wasn't allowed to party, I wasn't allowed to sleep in my own bed. (I think your getting the hint, I had a huge problem as I was evacuated due to fears of building collapse). 

Not once, in the four and a half days of being displaced and blocked off from entering my home did I wonder "Hmm, I should have fled with my brand-new T-shirt from PaulMcCartney.com!" Mostly my frustrations started with only having the clothes on my back, no medicines, and possibly 30 dead tropical fish. Who or what the hell is "TYGA"?

As I had access to our NSATPM's Facebook "Fun Club" , I was able to inform others about Paul's social misfortune. I posted this picture first in our hugely popular(yeah, right) club.

Tuesday's Daily Mail(above)which was kindly placed in my lap that day. (didn't save it)

And so, to distract myself from insurance company promises of maybe coming to assess my home for safety & hatching future plans to break into my own house to save Slappy The Catfish, I thought about Paul McCartney for five minutes. "Oh, yes, I've left behind valuable Beatles collectibles of which I have been hoarding for twenty years-crumbs!"

To be honest, about the news reporting about McCartney giving some light jokey retort to a bouncer is amusing, because you can replay the action of the incident by imaging Paul's voice. The fact that Paul has such a well-recognised Beatlely(Ed Note: made up word alert!) voice, it's amazing that "TYGA" wasn't send dead fish wrapped in newspaper..oh wait...

Surprise! All my tropical fish are alive(including Paul Ramon and Slappy). But now that I'm no longer faced with homelessness(a real word), I can get back to worrying about the fate of my entire Beatles collectibles and Paul McCartney's latest laugh riot of the week-"I'M PAUL MCCARTNEY, BIOTCH!" he must of thought....

Did you miss us this week? Share your concern on Twitter(see Wiget) and send us some cute Beatlely Paul photos. You know you want to....


Thursday, February 11, 2016

ES-Say #60 OH YEAH! Paul's love is now in (line) for Skype
An Official Paul McCartney "Sticker" for Skype competitor, Line(above)

Popular Microsoft-owned webcam/chat service, Skype, boasts that Paul McCartney has added Mojis exclusively for Valentine's Day. Paul McCartney.com(Paul's official website), has dutifully released a press statement about this project. However cute this idea is- basically new recording of musical love-themed sound effects for Skype users to jazz up their chat discussions with friends, I call a bit of veggie bologna. My argument is not with McCartney, per se, but with the claim on his official Facebook page that " Paul has teamed up with Skype to compose the music for the world’s first Audio Mojis"

World's first Audio Mojis? I don't have the time to check if that statement is true, but even if it is, who cares? We are talking about something that isn't really pioneering enough to stick on a CV. In a way, it's like standing on your head, naked, in your shower, while whistling "Band On The Run". Nobody has done that yet, but they can, and that would be a "World's First" also. Maybe I'm wrong but a couple months ago, using Skype, I found Muppet Mojis on the site. For example, I sent a Miss Piggy one, where for two seconds you hear "Kissy Kissy" and see a short video clip of the Muppet.

Credited as "Love Mojis- Music by Paul McCartney" are found first in the Mojis Skype section. There are ten animated cartoons to choose from, ranging from a bouquet-giving Moose to a Sumo Wrestler Cupid. It's impressive that Paul can be heard vocally & using a Moog synthesizer. Yet, because these Mojis are meant to be presented as sound clips, each one is only about five seconds in length. Technically, it IS "new music" from Paul but the charm of this was the time constraint requirement of the project. In fact, some of it, like the Flirting!(Banana), is basically Paul instrumentally jamming on a few notes. The whole thing feels like a teaser for possible new songs in the future!
                                            A 2015 "Sound Sticker" for the Line App
But, as far as a "World's First" accomplishment for Skype, maybe due to the original animation specially designed for the app, this is something they haven't tried. It isn't the first audio clip(or Mojis) available. Also, who remembers the app recording Paul did for Skype competitor, Line, all the way back, last year? I'll let Paul McCartney.com tell you all how ground breaking that was too. Click Here-Paul Voices New Sound Stickers On Line

Maybe the powers that be, should tweak these "World's First" declarations with Skype to be "World's first audio moijs that are absolutely free!" That's right, despite the several hundreds you spent on your home computer, you no longer have to shell out the £1.49($2.25) for the Asian-based Line Sound(Audio-call it what you like) Paul McCartney in-app stickers! ROCK & ROLL!**

I love that Paul McCartney always wants to be fresh and try new things, but maybe not everything needs a fanfare.

Not Saying Anything to Paul McCartney has a Facebook Group, which you are always welcome to join, it's fun, informative and now nearing 76 members here https://www.facebook.com/groups/854974464528645/

**If you want to spend some money on "Chat with Paul McCartney" on Line-https://store.line.me/stickershop/product/4266/en or test it out the audio absolutely free...

SEE YOU!

Friday, February 5, 2016

ES-Say #59 "Jameson!" Paul on SNL(1993)
The YouTube video(above) features audio of two "Off The Ground"Lp songs from the 13/2/1993 SNL show ("Hey Jude" was the 3rd song included in the show).

It's hard for myself to understand that it's been 23 years since Paul McCartney appeared on Saturday Night Live to promote "Off The Ground". As I was in High School at the time, and recently became a fan of McCartney as a solo artist, due to the single release of "Hope Of Deliverance". I will refer you back to ES-Say #4 in which I discuss how this newfound interest led to a juvenile fight.

Saturday Night Live(SNL), the popular NYC sketch program, was highly popular among my peers. Some of the cast in 1993(like Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, David Spade) would become even more popular in years to come, but SNL was the comedy training ground for up-and-coming actors. The live program came on at 11:35pm that Saturday night. I don't remember the month or date, but I remember hitting "record" on my VCR when host Alec Baldwin began his opening monologue and he paused momentarily for effect to loudly inform the audience that "Paul McCartney Is Here!"

Even if I was well psyched and watched at least half the program live, more than likely, I would have fallen asleep by midnight and watched the rest on Sunday morning. Usually, even if you taped the program or not, by Monday morning at school, you could fill someone in on the main sketches(at least shown up to "Weekend Update").

As the years passed, and YouTube and streaming videos on the internet didn't exist until the next decade, I watched the blank video copy I made of the '93 for a long time until I lost the video years later. (A bootleg DVD may be my only option of recovering the full telecast).

Not surprisingly, the sketch in the program where Paul was "Interviewed" by the late Chris Farley is most fondly remembered("I wasn't really dead!" Paul said assuringly to the nervous character of Farley). Alec Baldwin had memorable moments, as well, in this episode, but he is usually always associated to the "Schwetty Balls" sketch from another episode. However, I think we need to review my recollection of "The Mimic" the first live sketch after the monologue from this McCartney\Baldwin episode. (good luck finding this one clip outside the US or on non-NBC streaming services)
Julia Sweeney and Alec Baldwin in "The Mimic" (SNL Season 18\Episode 13)

"The Mimic" (AKA Mimic See, Mimic Do) featured Baldwin in a spy-spoof character("The Mimic") with a catchy theme song ("TheMimicTheMimic..THE MIM-ICK!). A rich lady(played by Sweeney) invites "The Mimic" to her estate to help solve a mystery(maybe her husband was kidnapped?). "The Mimic" hilariously tries to "Mimic" the rich lady's voice over the phone to the kidnappers which is poorly and unconvincingly imitated.*

The rich lady gets fed up and calls in her butler, Jameson, played by none other than Paul McCartney! Jameson(Paul) walks in and begins to say a line but then waits to speak as, the SNL live audience, cheers loudly for a bit. (Ed. Note-Paul may have walked out once during the scene and comes back during the end, but this will be recalled as one, rather than two scenes)
The rich lady, at this point has had enough of the phony impressions "The Mimic" had originally declared to her were genuine. She get angry and instructs Jameson to "thrown him out". "The Mimic" at this point is mimicking (or mocking) the rich lady's instructions to her butler at the same time.

Paul as Jameson, goes to sort out "The Mimic," who turns his voice(terribly) into a Liverpudlian accent ("you cont get rid of me, eyem yoooou!). The SNL audience, as well as myself watching at home, was inconsolable with laughter as Paul wearing a dark butlers uniform, takes on a serious manner to act as security, to "eject" the fraudster, and the scene ends.

Now that over twenty years have passed some of the lesser known parts of this McCartney episode are forgotten. To me, it was a showcase of Paul's wit(during a few different cameos in other skits) and performance style with the new songs. I grew to love this line up of the full band(including Linda, Wix, and Hamish) during this period. His appearance on the show either got me to buy "Off The Ground" on cassette around this time and I began to be more interested in the Beatles than previously before.

Linda McCartney's whistle solo during "Get Outta My Way" must have been the albums selling point for me, I was still an "impressional" (like "The Mimic") teenager and it was truely unforgetable memory of watching this episode.

If you want to see the official transcript order of the 1993 program Click this link here

*recollections are hazy after 20 years, this is how I think it happened.